why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
