So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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