So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it's like iHOP with fire
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
