let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
