i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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