that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize