I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
