Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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