$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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