I want to walk on stilts...naked
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
