yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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