the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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