farters have to be the big spoon...
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
