dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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