The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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