Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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