This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
