I look better un-naked...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize