i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
