"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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