You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I fill condoms, not promises.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
