So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
