I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
