Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
