We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
