U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
