I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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