Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize