ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
