he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
