These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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