i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Text me some of your sweat
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
