in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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