why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
