the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
