If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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