and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Randomize
