I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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