Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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