nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
