And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
