$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
