I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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