I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
