Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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