We're facebook friends in real life
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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