I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
