Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize