bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Did I show you my penis last night?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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