Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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