He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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