Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
