I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
40s are totally the cure
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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