playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
