Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
