your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
His hands were made for my vagina.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
