You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
