Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
