I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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