my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
